Safe Driving Elf

The Safe Driving Elf always has something to say. Check in regularly for his words of wisdom. At least he’ll make you think!

“Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.”

“Just because you don’t like it is not an answer”

“I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you”

“You’re never too old to learn something stupid”

“I could not pull out of my parking space, so I used my back up plan”

“I couldn’t figure out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked”

“When people first heard of ABS, it was braking news”

“I never argue, I just explain why I’m right”

“I can only teach you if you want to learn”

“Everyone is in a hurry to go nowhere”

“I’m making changes in my life….if you don’t hear from me, you’re one of them”

“8/5 of the population doesn’t understand fractions”

“If you can’t afford to fix your brakes, make your horn louder”

“Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer”

“I rotate my tires each time I drive….usually clockwise”

“Should speed bumps really be called slow bumps”

“An old dog can learn new tricks, but an idiot is always an idiot”

“Contrary to popular belief, bumpers aren’t really for bumping into things”

“The difference between an angry driver and a road rager is follow through”

“Two wrongs never make a right, but three rights do make a left”

“When giving directions, never say ‘turn left right here’ to the driver”

“I get confused when someone says ‘go ahead and back up’ while I’m driving”

“Looking well ahead gives you more time to see, think and respond to problems”

“Every 5 to 8 seconds will always give you time to reflect on mirror use as a driver”

“Does an electric car have a gas pedal when it doesn’t use any gas?”

“Don’t put your life in the hands of the driver next to you”

“A green traffic light doesn’t mean go, it means go when safe”

“When you see someone signal their turn, the only thing it means is that it works”

“Choose the lane that gives you the best view, the best flow and the least risk”

“Drive according to the conditions and slow down on wet roads”

“Yielding to pedestrians crossing the street will help to stop them from geting that run down feeling”

“Driving is a journey not a race, so treat others on the road with more respect”

“My friend Jack rides in my trunk …and he’s rather uplifting”

“Some drivers can be brainwashed with an eyedropper”

“Whatever you are, be a good one”

“You never find what you’re not looking for”

“Loss of friction means loss of traction”

“Economy driving makes a lot of cents”

“There IS a difference between an airbag and a wind bag”

“Most drivers do a good job distracting themselves while they drive”

“Effective communication means you’ve sent a message and have also received a response”

“It’s a head RESTRAINT, not a headREST – you’re not resting your head against it while driving”

“If I have to pull this car over one more time, I’ll give you something to cry about”

“Knowledge without skill is a waste”

“Skill without knowledge is dangerous”

“Increase your following distance in poor weather”

“Rule 1; I’m always right. Rule 2; if I’m ever wrong, refer to rule 1”

“Slipping into something more comfortable has nothing to do with skids”

“Being told you’re good at shovelling it, has a totally different meaning in winter”

“Life is a journey, not a race….so take the time to enjoy it”

“My glass isn’t half full or half empty – it’s always full; half with water and half with oxygen”

“The sign ‘soft shoulders’ isn’t attacking your body shape”

“The snow plow always goes by your house, just after you finish shoveling the driveway”

“You must have me confused with someone who cares”

“Each time I stop my brake gets fully depressed…I thought it was happier than that”

“Be a driving boy scout – always be prepared – for the worst”

“Falling into the lens grinder makes a spectacle out of yourself”

“You can’t appeal stupidity”

“A car never loses control; the driver loses control”

“Bumper sticker – Honk if you like peace and quiet”

“Traffic is like a river – keep it flowing”

“Drafting  – like a NASCAR driver – on public roads doesn’t save you fuel”

“I know what I don’t know – do you”

“First come, first swerved”

“A personalized license plate for a fast driver could be BRB”

“Stupidity is not a crime….so you’re free to go”

“You don’t fail by falling down. You fail by never getting back up.”

“Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full.”

“Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures”

“If a vehicle slides off the road and into a farmer’s field, does that make it a ‘bumper crop’?”

“There are 3 types of people in this world; those who know math and those who don’t”


  1. Hitting a guy who cut you off is road rage
    Giving him the finger is anger
    Telling him to learn how to read his mirror and understand simple mathematics called geometry is Drive By Education (also my book)

  2. @ Safe Driving Elf, U have great wisdom 4 a little elf…

    @ John Henry Harvey, Niceintro 2 Ur book! TY!!

    Keep Ur loved ones safe w/ 720 FREE Turn Off Cell B/4 Driving stickers + 30 site direction stickers on Avery 5260 labels @

    STAY SAFE!!!

  3. I love the photo!!

  4. With forward motion your tires would turn counter clockwise, which is safer. Backing up, turning clockwise, should only be done when necessary.

  5. “Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer”

    Excellent advice – life today is hectic, but that’s no excuse for aggressive or distracted driving. Just because you’re in a hurry doesn’t mean you should speed down the highway at 70mph while you’re texting your buddy that you’re going to be late.

    Two simple solutions to the problems:
    1 – calibrate your watch – punctuality is a virtue!
    2 – get on your phoneto remove the dangerous temptation to text, email, or browse while driving – it’s your car, not your couch.

    Keep up the good work, SD Elf!

  6. @ Safe Driving Elf, Where do U find all these useful, & true sayings? Or R they actually Ur own? TY 4 Sharing!

    When I saw

    “You never find what you’re not looking for”, I KNEW I needed 2 add a family favorite:

    “U always find what U seek in the LAST place U look!!” (or, in R usual case: in 1 of the 1st places U look, but only 4 the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time…)!!!

  7. Whatever you are be a good one is Abe Lincoln

    • Yes, but when I read that I thought it would fit with driving personalities. Thanks John.

  8. Do I remember, “If I hav 2 pull the car over 1 more time…”:

    I M old, so I SHOULD remember this, but I guess I was 2 GOOD, as I don’t…

    I DO hav a friend my age who had her 2 elementary-age kids on a LONNNNNNG road trip: She FINALLY got so disgusted w/ their arguing & hitting each other that she stopped the car, pulled the 1 behind her out of the car, & LEFT him beside the road, & DROVE away… Of course, she quickly turned around 2 let him back in the car, but he was QUIET the remainder of the trip! 2day, she would hav been jailed 4 child abuse…

  9. The most difficult thing is to find a blog with unique and fresh content but you definitely add value. Keep it like this.

    • I appreciate the comment. Spread the word to your friends.

  10. When i visit a blog, chances are that I notice that most blogs are amateurish. On the contrary,I have to say that you have done a good job here.

    • Thank you very much!

  11. i have visited this cool site a couple of times now and i have to say that i find it quite nice actually. keep the nice work up! 😉

  12. keep up the good work on the site. I appreciate it. Could use some more frequent updates, but i’m sure that you got some better or other things to do like we all have to do unfortunately. =p

  13. very cool idea

  14. Very cool idea – it’s a great way to get people enanged in a topic that can sometimes be less than exciting. My organization also does something similar using ELVES to give safety tips!:

  15. excellent “liners”… keep up the good work elf and keep adding.

  16. Hello> Great blog. I have also blog about safe driving but only in polish languages. but only in polish 😦

    need to translate it

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